5. Persuader The protagonist in every TV show, movie, book. I'm going to work with you to make sure you get what you want. Persuader profile in pdf
Approx. Population - 2.4% - 13/16. MBTI - ENFJ. Extrovert, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging.
6. Appraiser The perfect one you try to hate but cannot. If we all work together and follow the plan, we can make it happen. Appraiser profile in pdf
Approx. Population - 12.3% - 6/16. MBTI - ESFJ. Extrovert, Sensing, Feeling, Judging.
7. Promoter Human Golden Retriever - craves companionship . Hey! Isn’t this fantastic? Promoter profile in pdf
Approx. Population - 8.1% - 7/16. MBTI - ENFP. Extrovert, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving.
8. Counselor Party. Everything’s going to be just fine; I’m with you all the way. Counselor profile in pdf
Approx. Population - 8.5% - 6/16. MBTI - ESFP. Extrovert, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving.
As a Leader
5 - Persuader - A poised leader. Examples: PETER. Many sales people; stockbrokers (in some cases), politicians (in some cases). Sarah Palin. Barack Obama.
6 - Appraiser - An analytical leader. Examples: DAVID. Bill Clinton. Paul McCartney. Michael Clarke.
7 - Promoter - An optimistic leader. Examples: KING SAUL. Elton John. Leonardo DiCaprio. Josh Frydenberg.
8 - Counselor - An approachable leader. Examples: BARNABAS. Jamie Oliver. Steve Irwin. Marilyn Monroe.
Pos Twosome Descripta™
5 - Persuader - Personal cheerleader.
6 - Appraiser - Popular friend.
7 - Promoter - Happy procrastinator.
8 - Counselor - Melodramatic spotlighter.
Neg Twosome Descripta™
5 - Persuader - Too sensitive.
6 - Appraiser - Too smarty-pants.
7 - Promoter - Too talkative.
8 - Counselor - Too arrogant.
Surprise, Surprise Descripta™
Surˌprise, surˈprise - you should not be surprised about these sorts of behaviour!
5 - Persuader - Their beliefs will always surprise you as will the extent to which they think something and the world seems to reshape itself into what they think. This is despite how crazily illogical it may be.
6 - Appraiser - Just when you thought it was safe to go back into conversation they always find new depths of shallow.
7 - Promoter - So unpredictable and unembarrassable that nothing they do should surprise you any more.
8 - Counselor - What they will do for attention will always catch you out. Without the limelight, life is nothing.
Discs - Pidgeonholed v. The Real World
5 - Persuader - P: Kind, Loving, Hearts of gold and wills of steel. R: Will replace your mother and be okay with that. Judge being judgmental of judging judgmental judgments. The Heroic Snake.
6 - Appraiser - P: Genuine and affectionate, Would take care of sick stranger if needed, Make friends wherever they go. R: Value self-worth based on quality and feedback for home baked goods. The holiday season is their life source. The Friend Snake.
7 - Promoter - P: Full of life and love. Passionate lover, always fighting for a cause. R: Blink abnormally and and should not drink coffee ever, have to make conscious effort not to smile, should take more things more seriously. The Cool, outgoing Snake.
8 - Counselor - P: Epitome of style and fashion, impossibly cool, At every party and loved by everyone. R: Physically cannot stop making noises and fidgeting, all storage on their phone is taken up by hundreds of selfies in various poses. The Snake that went on Broadway.
5 - Persuader - We aim to please.
6 - Appraiser - Let me do it.
7 - Promoter - Nothing is impossible.
8 - Counselor - Where's the party?
5 - Persuader - Verbal acuity and flexibility. (Acuity = "a mind like a steel trap").
6 - Appraiser - Winning fairly and creatively with others.
7 - Promoter - Approval, popularity.
8 - Counselor - Friendship and happiness.
Spot behaviour seen on Social Media
5 - Persuader - Posts a lot of statuses along the lines of “Ugh so done with this,” in hopes you’ll ask them what they’re so done with.
6 - Appraiser - Gets married at 22 and posts nothing but wedding pictures for five years until they have a child and then posts nothing but baby pictures.
7 - Promoter - Enthusiastically changes their relationship status/location/career path every 2-3 months and somehow gleans hundreds of likes from it every time.
8 - Counselor - Got a job as a party rep straight out of college and now sends you an endless stream of event invites along the lines of, “Killersnake DJ Spinoff at 11th Street Lot – VIP access only, ladies free before 12.”
Behaviour seen on the Elevanto Bus™
5 - Persuader - Aisle seat on opposite side from the driver facing row 3. Just met an Appraiser, started talking and are now best friends. Row 4/7.
6 - Appraiser - Aisle seat on opposite side from the driver facing row 4. Just met a Persuader, started talking and are now best friends. Row 3/7.
7 - Promoter - Window seat on opposite side from the driver next to the Inspirational. Fallen asleep. Dreaming with some parallel universe. Row 5/7.
8 - Counselor - Window seat in same row as the driver. Checking their hair in the bus's rear view mirror. Row 1/7.
The Cannot Stomach Listings
5 - Persuader - People who spread negativity and try to assassinate their dreams. Rudeness and poor manners. Being alone. Pessimism and self-defeating attitudes. Gossip and negative rumor-mongering Jealousy and pettiness. How hard they can be on themselves at times. Insensitivity and logic without compassion.
6 - Appraiser - Being ostracized and feeling left out. When people are belligerent and uncooperative. Working alone. Sharing bad news or having to take disciplinary action. Bad or cheap quality. Being criticized. Hyper-competitive people. When people are surly, cold and unfriendly. Learning anything technical.
7 - Promoter - Doing meaningless, repetitive tasks. Paying bills and managing finances. People who deliberately spoil the enjoyment of others. People who constantly make others feel bad or dampen the mood of a group with negative comments. Being boxed in, undervalued and underestimated. Detail-oriented work. Being alone. Ending a relationship. Rude customer service personnel.
8 - Counselor - People who don’t answer their phones. When they can’t find anyone to hang out with them. People who think Counselors are shallow or not smart because they aren’t introverted. Dieting and exercise. Spending money on bills. Worrying about and planning for the future. Stressful situations.
5 - Persuader - Will be open minded.
6 - Appraiser - Will be fair and objective.
7 - Promoter - Will look at the bright side.
8 - Counselor - Will want a win-win solution.
On a team
5 - Persuader - Harmonising. Most Persuasive.
6 - Appraiser - Harmonising. Most Conciliatory.
7 - Promoter - Exploring. Most Optimistic.
8 - Counselor - Activating. Most Generous.
Sins and Virtues matrix
5 - Persuader - Patience (Assigned Virtue by this site)- Endurance under difficult circumstances; steadfast.
6 - Appraiser - Temperance (Virtue Rank 6/7) - Espousal of moderation, marked by personal restraint. Control over excess such as abstinence, moderation, chastity, modesty, humility, prudence, self-regulation and control, forgiveness and mercy. Restraining some impulses such as sexual desire, vanity, or anger. Constant mindfulness of others and one's surroundings.
7 - Promoter - Kindness (Virtue Rank 2/7) - Behaviour marked by ethical characteristics, a pleasant disposition, and concern for others. Charity, compassion, friendship, and sympathy without prejudice and for its own sake.
8 - Counselor - Charity (Virtue Rank 5/7) - Love of God, but also to the love of neighbours. Generosity and a willingness to give. A nobility of thought or actions.
In a meeting
6 - Appraiser - Sneaky / whisperer.
7 - Promoter - Joker / slow coach.
8 - Counselor - Woolly thinker / optimist.
5 - Persuader - Beware of placing a bit too much trust in people and possibly get burned in the process.
6 - Appraiser - Beware that your high enthusiasm may be seen by some as shallow or self absorbed.
7 - Promoter - Be aware of overusing your enthusiastic attitude to the point of becoming obtrusive.
8 - Counselor - Be aware that you may be overly tolerant with individuals who are unproductive when considering your team's efforts.
As a negotiator
Style - Tend to Collaborate.
Result - Tend to be they win and the other side wins.
Outcome - Rewarding.
With Others at Work and in Social Situation
Scale 1 - 8. 1&2 Excellent; 3&4 Good; 5&6 Fair; 6&7 Poor.
High I with High D: Work: 6. Social: 3.
High I with High I: Work: 7. Social: 1.
High I with High S: Work: 1. Social: 5.
High I with High C: Work: 3. Social: 7.
At the Job Souk
Here are some flavours of jobs that might match with your Disc. It is not exclusive. e.g. Lawyer is in more than one category. Contributions welcome. Are you in the correct seat on the bus?
5 - Persuader - The PR Specialist. - Writer / Journalist; Psychologist / Counselor; Clergy; Entertainer / Actor; Marketing / Public Relations; Recruiter; Trainer / Consultant; Teacher - Secondary; Physician - Family GP; Hr Manager (very good at that).
6 - Appraiser - What I can do for you. - Nurse / Physical Therapist; Paediatrician; Teacher - K to Year 12; Retail Owner / Operator; Athletics Coach; Flight Attendant; Hairdresser; Office Manager; Home Economist.
7 - Promoter - Anything is Possible. - Journalist; Character Actor; Marketing Consultant; Advertising Director; Corporate Trainer; Teacher - Drama / Music; Counselor / Psychologist; Musician / Composer; Photographer.
8 - Counselor - Don't worry, be Happy. - Sales; Lifeguard / Gym Attendant; Child Care Worker; Sales Representative; Travel Agent; Receptionist / Secretary; Promoter / Fund Raiser; Respiratory Therapist; Film Producer; Waiter; Hr Manager.
As a performance appraiser
Style - I's tend to evaluate others by how well they verbalize feelings.
Result - I's see performance reviews more as a time to look talk about doing better than a time to confront under performance.
Outcome - Any under performance of the appraisee is likely to continue.
As a customer service representative
Style - High I's trade on creating relationships, sharing personal information as a routine part of customer service.
Result - Customer may have to restate the problem. “I have had so much fun talking; I forgot to write it down.”
Outcome - It’s next to impossible for a customer, who is lucky to get a word in edgewise, to vent. Assurances are offered often not knowing if the promises can be fulfilled.
At the Shopping Mall
5 - Persuader - Successfully convincing a department store cashier to combine a coupon and sale price on a non-coupon, non-sale item.
6 - Appraiser - Somehow, the Great American Cookies store is cleaner when they leave it then when they arrived.
7 - Promoter - There with their significant other, looking at matching toy bears that make a dinosaur type sound when you squeeze them.
8 - Counselor - Is getting their nails done for the second time this week, because they suddenly realized the old colour clashed with the dress they’re wearing to that party tonight (or male equivalent).
As a gift buyer
5 - Persuader - Thinks carefully not just about what gift to give, but how to present it, when to deliver it, and how to mitigate each of their loved one’s potential reactions to it. Ensures that the gift is only a small part of the experience they provide while giving it so that the receiver feels as special as possible.
6 - Appraiser - Keeps a running note on their phone throughout the year in which they jot down things their loved ones mention they’d like. Has everything wrapped up and sent off, complete with a heartfelt note, before the mall swings into the season coming up.
7 - Promoter - Brainstorms a variety of future experiences their loved ones might enjoy. Books one they they’re sure will feel meaningful to each person, then grows bored waiting to give it to them. Ends up buying multiple “side gifts” in the meantime and going way over budget.
8 - Counselor - Creates an elaborate scavenger hunt their loved ones must complete in order to find their gift. Ensures that years later everyone will remember the fun they had completing the hunt, even if they forget all about their presents.
What to give as a gift
5 - Persuader - Time An experience, Hand written letter, Something homemade, A game to play together, A book, Gift card for favourite charity.
6 - Appraiser - Quality time together, Clothing, Hand written letter, Luxury treats - cookies or wine, Jewelry, High quality organizational materials, Hand made gift.
7 - Promoter - An experience, A music compilation of their favourites, Hand written letter, Something handmade, A Book, Art or art materials, Jewelry that's symbolic or has a purpose.
8 - Counselor - An experience, Games, Gift card to favourite clothing store, Tasty food, Physical affection, Spa voucher, Practical item.
Patterns & Fascination
6 - Appraiser - Innovation - Encourage others to explore alternative ideas and new techniques. With Mystique as Secondary, The Provacateur - Clever, Adept, Contemporary.
7 - Promoter - Passion - Leverage high energy to fire up person or team to achieve specific goal. With Passion as Secondary, The Drama - Theatrical, Emotional, Sensitive, 'Drama Queen'.
8 - Counselor - Passion - Leverage high energy to fire up person or team to achieve specific goal. With Trust as Secondary, The Beloved - Nurturing, Loyal, Sincere.
ID - I with D - Priority. Open, People-Oriented v. Guarded, Task-Oriented.
II - I with I - Competition.
IS - I with S - Pace. Direct, Fast-Paced v. Indirect, Slower-Paced.
IC - I with C - Pace & Priority. Direct, Fast-Paced, Open, People-Oriented v. Indirect, Slower-Paced, Guarded, Task-Oriented.
5 - Persuader - Mr. Sales. Peacock. Champagne. Protagonist. Busybody. Boxer. [Activist]
6 - Appraiser - Mr. Figjam. Swan. Homemade lemonade. Consul. Gossip. Great Dane.
7 - Promoter - Mr. Entertainer. Bluebird. Cocktail. Campaigner. Muckraker. Golden Retriever. [Activist]
8 - Counselor - Mr. Tolerant. Budgerigar. Punch. Entertainer. Clown. Poodle.
5 - Persuader - Overly optimistic.
6 - Appraiser - Terse.
7 - Promoter - Unreliable. You might find it difficult to get back items loaned. Procrastinator.
8 - Counselor - Always late.
5 - Persuader - Have a tendency to bring out the best in others. As much as they are sociable, are also highly aware of the emotions and needs of the people around them. They are willing to contribute themselves for the betterment of the whole so a cozy turtleneck dress embodies their warmhearted personality.
6 - Appraiser - Considerate and cooperative, but don’t let this surface fool you. When it comes to handling tasks, it's all about work by determination and thoroughness. However, they still have a soft spot, wanting appreciation from others for what they do, and a comfortable turtle-neck sweater provides just enough satisfaction for these busy bees.
7 - Promoter - Creative - life is full of possibilities. They have an innate confidence that shines through their ability to quickly make connections between events and information. Free-spirited and bold unafraid to wear a printed jumpsuit strut around and show it off.
8 - Counselor - Enjoy social interactions and tend to bring out the fun in many situations. They usually do well in new environments and meeting new people is an opportunity they will not pass up. Similar to their exuberance, bright yellow slip-on sandals are a match made in heaven.
5 - Persuader - Wholesome yet attractive. They may dress in a way that is very well put together with a good cut and fit but may also try to express their lighter side with an eccentric fashion twist. Often have a fine sense of humour and are not afraid to look a bit silly if they know it will make people smile. For the most part will wear what they think will engender the most acceptance among their peers.
6 - Appraiser - Know what’s hip and they dress accordingly. They wear what is acceptable, stylish and trendy or what is popular within the social circles they operate within. Often carry a fair amount of vanity as they understand the role of appearances in respect to their social status and acceptance. They use their fashion style as but another tool for commanding the social validation, in-group status and appreciation they so desire.
7 - Promoter - Like to wear what makes them feel attractive and desirable. Their wardrobe may include a lot of bright colors and clothing that showcases their sophisticated style sense. At the same time, they like to keep it fun and will exercise a lot of variety with their wardrobe and experiment with many different looks. Likely to put together some interesting ensembles that would make a fashion label proud.
8 - Likely to really go for it when it comes to making a statement with their clothes. They are not afraid to wear something bold or provocative if they are so inclined because, generally speaking, they enjoy the attention. They have a unique self image and they want to showoff their individuality and beauty in a way that is authentic to them. Probably more likely than other types to show a lot of skin and accentuate their physical assets with their clothing.
What sort of Holiday
5 - Persuader - Volunteering holiday.
6 - Appraiser - Family trip to Disneyland.
7 - Promoter - Music festival.
8 - Counselor - Rio carnival.
As a house Guest
Preliminary - Under Research. Contributions welcome. "Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days." ― Benjamin Franklin
5 - Persuader - As Host: Come over, I have no food in. Don't cook at 3am. As Guest: I'm likely to stay the agreed time.
6 - Appraiser - As Host: Not on your agenda. As Guest: I'd prefer to stay at an hotel.
7 - Promoter - As Host: I'm totally unprepared, but come over anyway. As Guest: It's an emergency. I've no idea for how long.
8 - Counselor - As Host: Welcoming. As Guest: I'll use all the soap and towels, eat all the eggs and just vanish.
In a Relationship
5 - Persuader - Relationship needs – Empathy and Connection.
6 - Appraiser - Relationship needs – Companionship and Commitment.
7 - Promoter - Relationship needs – Encouragement and Open-Mindedness.
8 - Counselor - Relationship needs – Adventure and Authenticity.
More information is available on other sites. This is a summary. Elevanto does not totally agree with these compatibility assertions.
5 - Persuader - Compatibility best with Agent and Specialist. Worst with Counselor, Achiever, Results, Practitioner, Appraiser, Perfectionist and Director.
6 - Appraiser - Compatibility best with Specialist and Achiever. Worst with Agent, Promoter, Investigator and Persuader.
7 - Promoter - Compatibility best with Investigator and Enhancer. Worst with Specialist, Counselor, Achiever, Results, Practitioner, Appraiser, Perfectionist and Director.
8 - Counselor - Compatibility best with Perfectionist and Practitioner. Worst with Agent, Promoter, Investigator and Persuader.
Jobs and Tasks
5 - Persuader - Empowering others. Encouraging others to grow and develop; Creating programs that enrich others; Motivating and inspiring others; Focusing on personal meaning and self-expression; Motivating others to use information for their own benefit; Solving new and complex problems that will benefit the future of humanity; Changing the way people do things; Helping others resolve conflict; Mentoring; Designing projects; Focusing on performing.
6 - Appraiser - Making others happy. Providing practical services for others; Helping people with information; Planning social events; Being patient with others; Taking care of others; Getting answers for people now; Finding resources for people; Following written procedures; Making others feel comfortable and at ease; Serving; Focusing on what people need.
7 - Promoter - Empowering others. Encouraging others to grow and develop; Creating programs that enrich others; Motivating and inspiring others; Focusing on personal meaning and self-expression; Motivating others to use information for their own benefit; Solving new and complex problems that will benefit the future of humanity; Changing the way people do things; Helping others resolve conflict; Mentoring; Designing projects; Focusing on performing.
8 - Counselor - Making others happy. Providing practical services for others; Helping people with information; Planning social events; Being patient with others; Taking care of others; Getting answers for people now; Finding resources for people; Following written procedures; Making others feel comfortable and at ease; Serving; Focusing on what people need.
As a friend
5 - Persuader - Social. The social friend, who plans fun events and just expects you to show up for them. They are there to support you in your time of need and listen to your problems no matter what. They are the friend you can chat with nonstop, and they never seem to get tired of it.
6 - Appraiser - Make you feel good. The best friend, who always seems to make you feel really good about yourself. They talk you up and try to show you that you are truly amazing. They occasionally drive you nuts though when they force you to take better care of yourself (or they actually do it for you).
7 - Promoter - Enthusiastic. The enthusiastic and exciting friend, who is like your own personal cheerleader. They have a way of making you see the bright side of life, and make you feel truly good about yourself. Somehow you feel like they admire you, and always have a good compliment for you. You never feel bored when you are around them.
8 - Counselor - Party animal. The friend who is always a blast to hang out with and who is always down for something new. You can’t go wrong partying with them and they always seem to know where the best parties are.
Myers Briggs & Kiersey & iPersonic X-ref + Career & Examples
5 - Persuader - Myers Briggs MBTI - ENFJ; Extrovert, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging. KIERSEY - Idealist - Teacher. iPERSONIC - Engaged Idealist. Career: College professor, high school teacher, social worker, non-profit director, trainer, sales manager, recruiter, executive, fund raiser, health advisor, clergy, facilitator, or counselor. Key hate: Being alone. Examples: Joseph Goebbels; Oprah Winfrey; Prince William.
6 - Appraiser - Myers Briggs MBTI - ESFJ. Extrovert, Sensing, Feeling, Judging. KIERSEY - Guardian - Provider. iPERSONIC - Social Realist. Career: Health care, physician, nurse, therapist, education, social service, religion, retail owner, receptionist, real estate agent or sales representative. Key hate: Abandonment. Examples: Gerald Ford; Pope Francis; Larry King.
7 - Promoter - Myers Briggs MBTI - ENFP. Extrovert, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving. KIERSEY - Idealist - Champion. iPERSONIC - Spontaneous Idealist. Career: Columnist, journalist, publicist, copy writer, advertising account executive, character actor, cartoonist, art educator, restaurateur with unique theme or inventor. Key hate: Lacking meaningful relationships. Examples: Robin Williams; Cameron Diaz; Katy Perry.
8 - Counselor - Myers Briggs MBTI - ESFP. Extrovert, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving. KIERSEY - Artisan (= Craftsman) - Performer. iPERSONIC - Laid-back Doer. Career: Performer, promoter, musician, PR specialist, a fund-raiser or a labor relations mediator. Key hate: Loss of freedom. Examples: Justin Bieber; Richard Branson; Leonardo DiCaprio.
Philosophy regarding money
5 - Persuader - Alternate. Starts a commune / cult or something to do with a strong belief
and lives on the proceeds of the followers / disciples if they can.
A Pleaser also. Can be subject to financial abuse at the hands of individuals who may take advantage of the desire to put others’ needs above their own. May overspending on themselves “because I’m worth it". Should steer clear of toxic friends who can manipulate best intentions.
6 - Appraiser - Keeping up with the Joneses. Great at budgeting, occasionally splurges on something expensive if all
their friends are doing it. Wants to look good, maybe.
A Protector also. Can have a lot of trouble with unanticipated change and make bad decisions in a panic. Needs to have a contingency fund of around six months income.
7 - Promoter - Splurger.Goes through periods of working and saving and then spends everything travelling through
A Pleaser also. Can be subject to financial abuse at the hands of individuals who may take advantage of the desire to put others’ needs above their own. May overspending on themselves “because I’m worth it". Should steer clear of toxic friends who can manipulate best intentions.
8 - Counselor - Careless. Only spends money on important things, like designer shoes and throwing amazing parties.
A Player also. Overly impulsive and optimistic about risks and carefree about planning. Resourcefulness and a can-do attitude can be just what’s needed for an entrepreneurial experiment.
5 - Persuader - Do not care. Do not care about money (as do Promoters) but are generally more controlled and aware of their expenditures. Love to have a good time with friends and will find that they don’t need money to do so like others. Generally don’t plan to become wealthy but will have a modest amount of savings to spend when they want. Minimalist Shopper.
6 - Appraiser - Saver. Tend to be good savers but may be susceptible to becoming very focused on showing off their wealth but that depends on the values they grew up with. If found in an area where public consumption of wealth was valued, then could be likely to spend high amounts on clothing, dining out and travel to be seen as “high status”. Status Seeker
7 - Promoter - Carefree. Money is an emotional extension of themselves but believe that they'll have a good life without it. Have an endless list of ideas that they can come up with to spend money on. Spendthrift.
8 - Counselor - Random. Sometimes resourceful but sometimes inefficient. May make emotional / impulsive purchases despite knowing it's a poor decision. Tend to spend often but in small bursts of activity. Optimistic about risks and can be handy in the role of entrepreneur. Emotional Spender.
5 - Persuader - Pleaser - Show off. If they insist on paying for your dinners every time you go out, there will be some type of 'debt': e.g. time, emotion, commitment etc. To avoid this, make sure you pay your own way as any 'debt' is not worth dealing with.
6 - Appraiser - Protector - One upper. You might find that you are dragged into spending more than you want. They want to impress with cars, home, clothes etc. and to stop their bragging you might try to keep up. Be careful....
7 - Promoter - Pleaser - Extractor and/or Moocher. As an Extractor, pretends to reach for the wallet but always comes up short, so the other party pays. Or gets up to
go to the bathroom when they see the waiter coming to the table with the bill.
There is also a tendency to want to borrow for some 'need' which is termed a Moocher. It may be a book, a lawnmower, or a small amount of money as they never seem to have enough money or are lazy. Then your item depreciates while they use it. When combined with forgetfulness to pay you back or they keep forgetting to give back what they borrowed from you, it then involves you in time and effort to remind such people to return what they borrowed. Often finds creative and irrelevant excuses for delaying. Do not lend to them!
8 - Counselor - Player - Extractor. Pretends to reach for the wallet but always comes up short, so the other party pays. Or gets up to go to the bathroom when they see the waiter coming to the table with the bill.
The Sir Robertson Sole Symptoms™
The Sir Robertson Sole Symptoms™ are really the harsh truth. No-one likes this section and Sir Robertson is aware of this. These symptoms are useful in picking patterns if you have the chance to observe how someone goes in a very negative way. You'll need to look in the four quadrants to explore all sixteen soles. [Signed: R. Sole]
5 - Persuader - The Scam Artist / Rattlesnake. Acts cuddly but is secretly an R. Sole. Make you believe they have a soul in order for you to give them money, validation or other favours. Consider you an asset or, at best, an acquaintance even if you consider them a friend. See patterns in others in the reactions of others and can start to build a structure in their mind over which techniques that have worked previously and will work in the future. Very patient, the Persuader will take over and manipulate whole crowds of people and everyone will be listening intensely and in the end give the cash. With absolute belief in what they say, will fool lie detectors as they have a hollow where the soul should be and this is filled with fakes. Often run several schemes concurrently. “I’m worth all the money in the world”; “everything I see is mine.” In the office are the informer you never notice. Drawn towards jobs without glory, such as paparazzis, where they can observe the people who do feel love, and destroy it for them. Cannot be helped. They give the air of being a wise mentor when really they just want you to do their bidding. The manipulative R. Sole.
6 - Appraiser - The Whore. Acts cuddly but is secretly an R. Sole. Require other persons approval of their emotions. With poor logic need to improve the processing of information as come across as awkward. Will not be silent and be in your face all the time. Great at pretending to listen and, while they do hear you, do not care about what you just said, except to hate you. Usually dominant socially, often disregarding others’ opinions. If they are wronged they will be angry and they will punish you, but if you treat them well they will treat you well in return. A good way to get onside is to do favours for them without them asking – they love getting gifts but will not be happy if you stop. Cannot be helped. Disregard for everybody else may tend to be in organised crime syndicate. Use everything they have to get what they want. After an outburst they will pretend nothing happened, and the older, more wise ones will apologize about it in secret, however you should not believe it. The gossipy R. Sole.
7 - Promoter - The Confused Hippie. Cuddly inside and out. See possibilities in the illogical. May have loose morals and do drugs. Often faints after one drink. Happy, not having found anything to be unhappy about. Often thinks the government is evil and is destroying the world but the Promoter never does anything about it. Will not stop pestering you with their ideas and they will usually not understand your feelings either. Get tribal tattoos and think that makes them part of a tribe. Very frustrating and hard to argue with due to continually inconsistent statements and they’ve forgotten the beginning of the issue once they have received an explanation about the tangent they are on. Not many have the patience to put up with it. A goldfish. Unfazed by nothing and everything is interesting as long as it is in sight. Believe in anything they are told. You should expect to do most of the work for little reward. The I cannot commit to anything R. Sole.
8 - Counselor - The Lounge Lizard or Floozy. Cuddly inside and out. Stimulation seeker. Boisterous and annoying. Can be considered dumb. They get drunk on one beer and proceed to feel that all their actions are totally excused. Even if not, totally insensitive. The more alcohol, the more outrageous. e.g. Dead baby jokes around abortion clinics and jokes at your mother's funeral. They will not stay at the funeral for very long, but they will steal one of the bottles of funeral wine and proceed to get into it. Leave traces of trouble - e.g. boot full of urine, vomit on the ceiling. Relationships can be tricky, but they might work out. Provided you’re not into communication or honesty or something. It’s hard to be honest when you can’t remember what happened last week. The attention whore R. Sole.
The Sir Robertson Sole Symptoms™ on Steroids
The Sir Robertson Sole Symptoms™ on Steroids have been compiled when you really do not like the other person. We have been told that this section is confrontational, so you are advised to keep your seat belt fastened. An alternate term is as an Oxygen Thief. You'll need to look in the four quadrants to explore all sixteen steroid soles. [Signed: R. Sole]
5 - Persuader - The loudmouth propagandist. Persuaders may not know things but can yell things louder than you and most of the people you know, unless these people are R. Soles. Likely to win people over to their causes by sheer force of volume and tales of children's tears rather than arguments. Fond of soft focus lenses and sentimental music. R. Sole nominates Michael Moore, Joseph Goebbels and Joe Biden.
6 - Appraiser - The intolerable B-Lister. Glittering eyes and spotless teeth. Skulls as vacant as their résumés. They came so close to the top that only to be pushed aside by better looking people. They will tell you this at a not great, but not entirely lame part after a few drinks. Generally talentless, passive and smiling moistly at all times. R. Sole nominates Regis Philbin, Sarah Palin and Barbara Walters.
7 - Promoter - The whinging primadonna. Emotional weakling who may be able to conquer the similarly weak minded but will wither at the slightest show of resistance. Promoters become charismatic leaders not because they are charismatic or good leaders. It's because Promoters are so hungry for adulation they will stop at nothing to attain it. Often found weeping in a garden. R. Sole nominates Fidel Castro, Muammar Gadaffi, Hugo Chavez and Jerry Seinfeld.
8 - Counselor - The wishy washy rockstar. Will do anything to keep all eyes on themselves. This can be as simple as performing a triple keg stand but, if conventional methods fail, will go as far as genocide to remain in the limelight. Unhappy if any one else's talent is acknowledged especially if the other person's talent is orders of magnitude higher. This is always the case. R. Sole nominates Bill Clinton, Katy Perry, Kayne West and Idi Amin.
Truthful Toxicity & Ingeniously Problematic™
Can the Elevanto expertise assist in lie detection? Sometimes. Ingeniously Problematic™ behaviour is
on display when it is clearly known what the desired outcome is, yet an assertion is
made that may not be untruthful, is likely to be ambiguous and the author can use it to advantage.
It is designed to give the recipient hope; reality may be 'bugger off' or (mis)leading you into
taking up some sort of offer. It is often involves blatant hypocrisy.
Outright lying is easy to pick as I claim to be cruising today in the Gulf of Siam aboard the USS Nimitz that I own. The Ingeniously Problematic™ folk tend to be in the High D quadrant, but not always. Using our technique is part art and part science. Sometimes you have to look as to who gave instructions to whom.
Question to Tony Blair: Will Labour introduce tuition fees for higher education?" Blair's answer was: "Labour has no plans to introduce tuition fees for higher education." No plans does not mean no tuition fees.
Unknown: "Nobody is sorrier than me that the police officer had to spend his valuable time writing out a parking ticket on my car. Though from my personal standpoint I know for a certainty that the meter had not yet expired, please accept my expression of deep regret at this unfortunate incident."
High I Strong sense of public self-consciousness. Concerned about being scrutinized by others, which changes their behaviour in such a way that it appears dishonest.
5 - Persuader - Tells white lies. Rank 2/16.
6 - Appraiser - Tells white lies. Rank 4/16.
7 - Promoter - Tells lies to get something done. Rank 8/16.
8 - Counselor - Tells white lies. Rank 10/16.
Ingeniously Problematic™ behaviour ignores the behaviour of the audience; most of whom accept the bulltish but Owls (High C's) treat it with the contempt which it deserves.
5 - Persuader - Professes undying love to all friends.
6 - Appraiser - Loud and boisterous.
7 - Promoter - Puts social skills on steroids.
8 - Counselor - Wants to be the life of the party.
Dalliance Rankings Explorer™
5 - Persuader - Likely to be very conscientious of their partner’s needs and feelings and thus will likely be faithful to them. However, because they are very engaging and affectionate with people, they may attract attention and admiration from people who want to be closer to them. They appreciate being appreciated and this can be a gateway to their heart which may lead to emotional and physical affairs.
6 - Appraiser - Very loyal but they may be tempted to stray if their relationship partner is not supportive. They can be insecure and their need for validation from others can open them up to desperate attempts of seeking approval. They are easily charmed by people they view as confident and exciting. Someone who can make them feel valued and validated has the potential of stealing their heart.
7 - Promoter - Known for being flirtatious and so this may present many opportunities for them to cheat. If they do not receive enough attention and appreciation from their relationships, they may be inclined to having an emotional affair with another person or satisfy the lack of sexual gratification they are receiving. Top 5 Rank = 3.
8 - Counselor - Fun and frisky and they crave attention and sensory stimulation. They are usually very friendly and open to everyone and many potentially romantic relationships form naturally from this. Sometimes the lines can get blurred for them and they may find themselves having crossed a line they did not intend to cross. e.g. Bill Clinton. Top 5 Rank = 4.
5 - Persuader - On time. Rarely late. May become frustrated if other people don’t show up to events on time due to a perfectionist streak. Believe that being punctual is important and shows a level of consideration for other people and fits with their schedule. Would feel extremely guilty for showing up to an event late and only would do this if for a good reason. While will try to give people the benefit of the doubt but will have a hard time refraining if someone shows up extremely late.
6 - Appraiser - On time. Hate the idea of being late for things and will become stressed if running short on time. Will scramble if necessary. Might see this as a sign of disrespect and will become upset if other people think they are being rude. Likely be the person who shows up ridiculously early for certain events and will never be the person arriving late. Will try to keep track of the time accurately in their minds.
7 - Promoter - Late. Struggle with time management and can become distracted rather easily. Do not show up late because they do not care about others feelings - simply struggle to pay attention to one simple task. Become distracted by so many things around them; will likely believe that less time has passed than it actually has. Last minute scrambles usually fail. Try to use a mix of charisma and bullshit to get out of sticky situations.
8 - Counselor - Late. Can sometimes struggle to show up to things on time especially if they find something else they believe is more important. Will try very hard to be on time to certain events though, especially events for people they love. Become distracted by other things in their environment and sometimes struggle to manage their time properly yet dislike feeling like they let anyone down.
5 - Persuader - Very Controlling. Possessive of best friends and always need friends.
6 - Appraiser - Attention Grabber. Always popular, will do this if other people do not seem to like you as much as you expect.
7 - Promoter - Friend and Defriend. Will befriend you and then drop you just as quickly. Can get a negative reputation accordingly.
8 - Counselor - Pleasure Seeker. Playboy, bon vivant.
5 - Persuader - Internalise Guilt. Feels guilty if they cannot live up to their high expectation for themselves.
Want to be able to do everything in their lives with excellence, especially when it comes to caring for others.
Often attempts make up for their mistakes or guilty feelings by overcompensating or going above and beyond even more so
than usual. May feel guilty when done nothing wrong; feel like they could be doing more. Apply a lot of pressure on
themselves, often feeling like they could have done better.
Shame: Strong-willed individuals and when they make a decision they are sure of it. They are rarely ashamed of their mistakes when it comes to the typical things. They are rather good at keeping their business to themselves and away from people they don’t want to hear about it. Are most likely to be ashamed if someone they care about has been hurt by their actions and if been unable to care for others. Help copeing with shame is by reminding them how needed they are. Need to remember how much they have done for others and how hard they work on a daily basis.
6 - Appraiser - Unacknowledged Guilt. May not outwardly show experience of guilt but it is something that is felt
on an almost constant basis and will be internalised and not fully acknowledged. Take the needs of others upon themselves, wanting to be everything to everyone around them.
Holds to impossibly high standards, wanting to be something close to perfect. When cannot accomplish
the goal of keeping everyone happy, will feel immensely guilty. Often feels like it is their fault if everyone
is not properly cared for, making them feel guilty when they truly should not. Will find ways to compensate
when feeling guilty about their own failings.
Shame: Hard time feeling shame unless it's someone who they love that they have failed but will struggle. Finding ways to fix the issue can sometimes only make the situation worse. Assistance is by accepting their mistake, forgive them (and still love them, as applicable) even though they are not perfect. The Appraiser needs to accept the error and learn to forgive themselves for it.
7 - Promoter - Over Guilty. Liking to be liked, place a strange amount of guilt / blame upon themselves for things that aren’t really
their fault, when something is going wrong or if someone is upset or if someone has been hurt by a Promoter's actions. Will feel immense amounts of guilt when a friend is
angry or if someone reacts strangely. Often capable of seeing the many possibilities in a situation, which can
cause consideration as to the many ways the situation could have been navigated better. Pressure to be better causes
guilty feelings about issues over which the Promoter has no control.
Shame: Care very much how they might affect other people. May actually hold onto mistakes from when they were younger and try very hard to fix those errors. Open individuals who enjoy taking risks, but that does not mean they do not experience feeling ashamed. Often ashamed of the moments they harmed others accidentally. Need to be reminded that everyone makes mistakes in life and that they need to move on and forgive themselves. Feeling shame and guilt can only lead to shutting yourself out from the people who care for you and that is not going to fix anything.
8 - Counselor - Atone For Guilt. Preferring to enjoy life rather than focus on negativity.
Dislike harming others, but may struggle with facing own mistakes. May attempt to convince the people that they hurt
that they never intended to do so as do not want people to believe they are a bad person, that is a strong concern.
Care about the people around them and truly do not want to harm anyone.
Although unintended, the lifestyle of living in the moment can cause upset to others.
When feeling like have done something wrong will definitely try to atone for this.
Shame: Will feel ashamed if their sometimes flighty actions have harmed other people. May be better at hiding their shame than others, but that does not mean they do not experience shame. Will respond to forgiveness by letting a Counselor know that you are okay with their mistakes and that everyone makes them from time to time. Sometimes it helps to let them know of a time you messed up as well.
5 - Persuader - Sneaky Judgeology™. Often sneakily judgmental and do not realise it. Have a deep compassion for people and can become angry towards others who do not and who commit injustices towards others. Often tell how people can make better choices with their lives with ideas they have come up with as they want others to be happy.
6 - Appraiser - Unaware Judgeology™. Seen as judgmental but are not consciously aware of this. Deep down they possess a strong caring for everyone and want to make people happy. When they witness people harming others, especially if it is harming their loved ones, will become immediately judgmental. They are consciously aware of how their actions affect others and try very hard not to hurt people. Strong dislike of people who have no caring about others. Often feel judgmental towards people who act in a superior manner to them or to other people. They hold most people as equals until they witness certain actions from them.
7 - Promoter - Optimistic Judgeology™. Morally know what they believe is right and wrong and try to follow these guidelines. Appear non judgmental and do not like to judge as see the good in others and believe that they will change although this is often wildly optimistic. If they find themselves liking someone (or have a crush), may have a tendency to idolize and ignore their flaws or mistakes. May judge in absence of facts or when 'have a bee in their bonnet'.
8 - Counselor - Avoider Judgeology™. Conscious awareness of people and realize where they should and should not judge. They tend to prefer having fun and expressing forgiveness more than they do judgments. Sometimes ESFPs judge others who they feel are attacking them or their loved ones. If they fear this person intends to harm them, they will become judgmental before they even get a chance to do harm.
This technique emanates from the service station industry where it was always necessary to understand the attitude of operators and staff towards 'sparkle and housekeeping'. Elevanto's techniques are all about observing so if you can see how someone approaches the issue of clutter, it's another tool to work out their pattern to reap the advantages of using these techniques. You'll need to look in the four quadrants at all sixteen clutter descriptions.
5 - Persuader - Party Clutter. You bounce around your mental checklist. When the last item is crossed off, you stand near the table (not on it, of course, you just wiped it clean!) and give a speech: "We don't clean because it's cute. We clean because we are members of the apartment and the apartment is filled with people. Vacuuming, scrubbing, dusting, getting those tiny coffee grounds out from behind the grinder; these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But you, me and the 25 people coming over tonight, these are what we stay alive for. No matter what anybody tells you, a quick run of the mop can change this apartment.”
6 - Appraiser - Supporter Clutter. You diligently do your part, while also putting out snacks and making drinks for the rest of the cleaning crew. You can’t wait for your roommate to notice that you’ve folded their socks for them already, in that weird way they like. When your tasks are complete, if another person is a Developer on the cleaning crew, it will be you that assists that person who has broken the dryer by overloading it.
7 - Promoter - Reluctant Clutter. You'll only clean common areas if guests are coming over. Your bedroom looks like a poor man’s version of a treasure trove; a disaster by any measure. Cleaning is best done with a pod cast in your headphones or talking with a friend, so you can thoroughly dissociate from the fact that you are actually cleaning.
8 - Counselor - Unfocused Clutter. People are coming over in an hour, but the house is a mess. You'll take 20 minutes to select the perfect music to assist you with the vacuuming and it is mandatory to check all social media despite the clutter and the time ticking away. You then spend 60% of the remaining time dancing with your vacuum, 30% trying to get your roommate to dance too and 10% on actually doing the vacuuming.
This is the sort of kitchen you may like and how you organise things in the kitchen. This is useful if you have the chance to observe how someone else handled the kitchen. Another very useful indicator to pick their pattern. You'll need to look in the four quadrants to explore all sixteen kitchens.
5 - Persuader - The Dramatic Craftsman Kitchen. You are ambitious, empathetic and charismatic. You want to work in a kitchen that energizes you while not sacrificing form and function. You love the natural beauty of Craftsman-style kitchens but prefer to add a little more depth and drama with deep-red cabinets and a stunning view.
6 - Appraiser - The Simple Chic Kitchen. You are generous, responsible and practical. You love the simplicity of black and white. You appreciate clean lines and beautiful materials for their restful, harmonious qualities. The simpler the kitchen, the better, so you can focus all your attention on your loved ones.
7 - Promoter - The Bohemian Kitchen. You are curious, talkative and aspirational. You have a strong artistic side and love a cozy, carefree kitchen with plenty of colorful tea towels, throw rugs, fresh flowers, and artwork — whatever strikes your fancy! It's not clutter, it's personality!
8 - Counselor - The Classic Glam Kitchen. You are confident, charming, and enthusiastic about life. Not every person can pull off a crystal chandelier in the kitchen, but you can't think of anything more glorious. You love metallics, ornaments and marble bench tops and dream of owning a French La Cornue stove at $47,000.
While religion needs to be kept out of discussions generally, together with sex and politics, sometimes if it is known that someone is very religious it may be yet another source of information to pick Disc and then impose correctly. Percentages are the best we can find as to whether various patterns agree that they are "very religious". You'll need to look in the four quadrants to explore all sixteen percentages.
5 - Persuader - 42.87% Rank: 7.
6 - Appraiser - 52.48% Rank: 2.
7 - Promoter - 33.71% Rank: 13.
8 - Counselor - 44.78% Rank: 5.
How you go and they go in the bedroom may not be the starting point to pick someone's pattern. However, as with any model, the more information you have, the more likely you can reap the benefits of picking others behaviour patterns. You'll need to look in the four quadrants to explore all sixteen positions.
5 - Persuader - Enthusiastic Bedroomer. You have a very high sex drive, but only within the confines of a committed relationship. You aim to please the person you are with and are an enthusiastic lover. You will basically never say no to your partner and enjoy making them happy. It turns you on even more to see them pleased which makes the experience even better for you. As long as you feel comfortable with someone the sex is amazing. If you feel like your partner isn’t trustworthy or you don’t feel valued, your sex drive deteriorates.
6 - Appraiser - When in Love Bedroomer. To you sex is only truly good when you are deeply in love. If you don’t truly care for someone, sex can almost feel like a chore. When you are comfortable with your partner, sex with you is very passionate and animated. Above all else you want to make sure that your partner is happy and fully satisfied. If you feel like your partner is not enjoying themselves, it may make you shut down and you will no longer enjoy the experience yourself. To you sex is a chance to connect with your lover and feel closer to them. You may have a hard time receiving pleasure from your loved one, but the closer you feel the more you are willing to let go.
7 - Promoter - Best in the Bedroomer. You require an emotional connection to be able to be fully intimate with someone. Once you have established a connection, you are a very enthusiastic and passionate lover. You have a very high sex drive and see it as an opportunity to express yourself fully to someone. You enjoy being able to explore new sides of yourself and don’t like to set restrictions in the bedroom. You probably have heard you were the best your lovers ever had. Your creativity and passion in your daily life translates very well into the bedroom.
8 - Counselor - Athletic Bedroomer. You are extremely observant and in the moment as a sexual partner. You are capable of experiencing sex without love and you don’t generally feel remorse afterwards. Although you are capable of separating sex and love, you do enjoy feeling deeply connected to your partner. When you care about someone you can be extremely giving and enthusiastic. You are an athletic and exciting partner in the bedroom.
Music Festival Explorer™
How you go at the festival is handy. The more information you have, the more likely you can reap the benefits of picking others behaviour patterns. You'll need to look in the four quadrants to explore all sixteen festivals.
5 - Persuader - Gets around the festival. Probably has every wristband possible and can get into every booth/event. Actually spent money on VIP seats but barely sits in them.
6 - Appraiser - Gets value at the festival. Sees every band that plays over the course of whole festival. Hangs out with their friends in the best stage viewing vantage point on all of the grounds.
7 - Promoter - Gets sex at the festival. Somehow makes out with the lead singer of the night’s headlining band. Gets into the “most popular” photos of the festival’s Instagram tag twice.
8 - Counselor - Freeloader at the festival. Most likely to be the “Free Bird” person. Always has a drink in their hand, but doesn’t spend a dime for the entire duration of the festival.
Generally, this consultancy uses the various techniques based in the positive side of things. But there are nefarious people of all patterns. This section looks briefly at the 'bad ones'. And we have come across some over the years. You'll need to look in the four quadrants at all nefarees.
5 - Persuader - Dramatic, overbearing, manipulative. They like to influence and push people to conform to their opinions and “vision”. Their way is always the best way, and anyone who disregards their “friendly” advice is treated with passive-aggressive bullying. The nefarious Persuader respects rank and authority, and treats those in authority with respect and eager attentiveness while looking down on people they believe are less “sophisticated” than themselves. They share other people’s secrets without remorse, pick on the underdogs, and kiss up to anyone who can help them to advance their vision or idea for the future. They can seem incredibly kind and exuberant in person and then ridicule and mock you to others when you are not around. Crimes: Kidnap, bully. Suicide cult leader.
6 - Appraiser - Manipulative, controlling, prone to gossip. They adopt the beliefs of the people around them and bully anyone who lies outside of that value system. They may enjoy spreading rumors if it allows them to gain approval from authority. They are the “teacher’s pet” and constantly seek praise from the people they respect. They will have pity parties for themselves whenever they don’t get the praise they were expecting. They may be passive-aggressive, two-faced, and dishonest. Anyone who doesn’t believe in their traditionally accepted views is mocked, ridiculed, or manipulated by psychological means into doubting their own sanity. They need attention and approval constantly from the people in their lives, and will become easily angered over any perceived slight or anything that takes the place of their attention. They will berate anyone who doesn’t follow “the rules”, even if those rules are corrupt. Crimes: Steal to finance drug habit. Prostitution.
7 - Promoter - Manipulative, self-absorbed, disloyal. They believe the world revolves around them and their interests and ideas. They only care about others in terms of how much they can get out of them. They jump from one idea or relationship to the next, flaking on plans and shirking responsibilities without a second thought. Inspiration and stimulation becomes everything to the nefarious Promoter and they will try to attain it by any means, even if it means deceit or immoral acts. They are so sure of their own visions that they lash out at anyone who opposes them or questions their abilities. They forget their own body’s requirements and may become increasingly self-destructive as they ignore their health and nutritional needs. Crimes: Un-peaceful protestor. Crime of passion.
8 - Counselor - Seek attention and sensation at all costs. Impulsive, vain and self-absorbed. They dislike anything or anyone that might upstage them and they will be passive-aggressive to anyone who they feel might steal their spotlight. Their subjective emotions rule their lives, and logical arguments or constructive criticism are dramatically shunned. One minute they will be madly in love, the next minute they will ditch their partners or cheat on them because they feel trapped. They jump from one exciting thrill to another without concern for the people they affect along the way. Crimes: Lots such as theft and drink driving. Lie to avoid punishment. Drunk and disorderly.
Bratty Behaviour Shortcuts!
One of our latest techniques is to match these bratty descriptions to the person you are studying. Then you have their Disc pattern. You'll need to look in the four quadrants at all sixteen bratty descriptions.
5 - Persuader - Interfering with people’s personal lives. Emotionally intelligent, needs to let others make their own decisions and let go of the reins. Intention is to assist but does not take into account what the other party really wants, it's what they think is best. Getting caught meddling puts them at risk of losing trust and making the situation worse.
6 - Appraiser - Gossip. While interested in what others are up to, needs to know when to keep the mouth shut. May develop a reputation for being warm in person but judgmental behind other's backs and gain a reputation accordingly.
7 - Promoter - Disappearing on people. Have a short attention span combined with lots of feelings. When something new grabs their attention, tend to just disappear. May have strung people along beforehand - friends, family, business associates and love interests all of whom will be confused at the disappearance or why activities remain incomplete.
8 - Counselor - Spotlight chaser, at all costs. Not stick to plans, drop commitments. Can even fail to be there for friends in times of need (=neglect) if they perceive a greater opportunity for them to be the centre of attention. Needs to get the notion that attention is short term and fleeting whereas long lasting relationships are not.
Dealing with Morons Explorer™
This technique emanates from when you find that the person you are dealing with becomes unreasonable.
1 - Minimize time with the moron and give up the dream that they will one day be the person you wish they'd be. Keep your interactions as short as possible. Minimizing your exposure to those who show any deviation from a healthy, normal, or efficient condition goes a long, long way. Give up where they seem to be the parent/partner/spouse/friend etc you've always felt they could be, yet they ultimately always end up hurting or disappointing significantly. See the Sir Robertson Sole Symptoms™ on this and other pages. We fall for it and get our hopes up again the next time they treat us nicely or seem to have turned a new leaf. Giving up the hope and fully accepting this person for who they really are can be an unbelievable relief after what is sometimes a lifetime of wishing. Give them the flick pass. Get rid of them if you can. They will still have their knickers in a knot and you will not. Sometimes, you just have to wear them - refer items 2 - 7.
2 - Keep it logical and in writing. This may be difficult if you are very verbal, heart-focused person, who connects from an emotional or empathic perspective. This only works with reasonable people who care. Unreasonable people usually don't care, and their response (or lack of it) will often only make you more upset. Keep communications fact-based, using minimal details and in writing if possible. Unreasonable people lose track of what they said and misinterpret what you said.
3 - Don't drink around them. It may be tempting to get into the booze when you're around people who are acting like morons, it will only make you more emotionally vulnerable and more likely to do or say something useless that will either make you look bad, make you feel bad, or make you more of a target.
4 - Focus on them in conversation. A way to avoid being the target of demeaning comments, manipulation or having your words twisted is to say as little as possible. Volunteer minimal information and get them talking about themselves if you have to be around them or have to interact with them. Make it that they are a far safer conversation subject than you are.
5 - Stay away from topics that get you into trouble. Before going into an interaction with a moron, review in your mind the topics that invite attack and be proactive about avoiding them. e.g. if your in-laws always make cracks about your choice of career, answer neutrally and change the subject immediately (see item 4) if they ask you how work is going.
6 - Don't try to get them to see your point of view. Don't try to explain yourself or try to get morons to understand you and empathize with your perspective. They won't, and you'll just feel worse for trying and failing.
7 - Create a distraction. If you absolutely have to spend time with someone who typically upsets you, try to be around them in circumstances that offer some sort of distraction. Focus on playing with a pet if there's one in the vicinity, have the interaction be based around some kind of recreational activity or entertainment, or offer to help in a way that takes you out of the main ring (e.g. offering to chop vegetables in the kitchen before a family dinner). If you can get them to do something that absorbs their attention (taking it off you), even better.